Many fears are simply outgrown as the toddler matures into a more confident and worldly preschooler. But others persists throughout early childhood, and - if they can't deal with them- sometimes into adulthood. Gently helping toddlers face what scares them is the best way to ensure that today's fears won't continue to hold them back tomorrow. Help your toddler work through fears :
Illumination. An older toddler might be reassured by a simple, rational explanation. For example, you may silence a fear of sirens by explaining that "Fire trucks have to make a loud noise so cars and people will get out of the way and let them get to the fire in hurry. It's a good, loud noise." For a young toddler, who may not be able to grasp even a simple explanation, a demonstration may be the route to reassurance. For instance, a toddler who's afraid of going down the drain with the bath water may feel better about bathing after a little display of what can and can't go down drains (water and soap bubbles can, rubber duck and children can't). A toddler afraid of the vacuum may be relieved to see that through cracker crumbs can be vacuumed up, a toy truck, a block, and Mommy's foot can't be.
Indirect exposure. A toddler who's afraid of being flushed down the toilet may gain confidence from being read a storybook about a child who uses the toilet and lives to tell about it. A toddler who's afraid of fire engines may benefit from looking at a picture book about firefighters or a visit to the fire house. A toddler who's afraid of dogs may find four footers less foreboding after seeing a placid movie about a girl and her dog. Toddlers who are afraid of a natural phenomenon, such as thunder, may become less fearful after being read a simple book that explains it. Avoid books, pictures, or movie, however, which might intensify a toddler's fear. No amount of girl-dog bonding is going to soften a toddler's reaction to ferocious attack scene - even if it's a bad guy who's being attacked.
Exposure and desensitization at a distance. Holding a toddler who's afraid of a vacuum cleaner at the other end of the living room while Daddy vacuums, or standing with a toddler who's afraid of draining water at the doorways of the bathroom while the tub empties, may help him face the fear at a safe distance. Similarly, it may help to let a dog-fearful toddler watch a playmate frolic with a neighbor's dog, near enough to hear the giggles and see the glee, but far enough so that there's no imminent threat.
Increased control with closer exposure. Fear tends to make anyone at any age feel out-of-control. So helping your toddler to gain some measure of control over the feared object or situation may take the edge off the fear. For example, experimenting with turning a vacuum cleaner on and off may help the fearful toddler see that the control lies in the human hand, not the dust-sucker. Riding on the vacuum when it's unplugged and silent may also be reassuring.
Set up a toddler who's afraid of the dark or of monsters with a "prop" or two to increase his sense of power and control: a flashlight, a friendly night-light, a teddy-bear sentry under orders to chase away unwelcome visitors, a magic word that banished night creatures, or a magic monster-repelling potion of water in a spray bottle.
Ventilation. We all feel better about our fears when we talk about them, same as toddlers. Ask him to talk and express about all of his fears while you listen to him with full of understanding.
A sense of humor. Although, parents are not allowed to make fun of child's fears, some of relaxing techniques for reducing tension are very useful to calm toddler from his fears.
